In my experience, it's often because somebody they care about is unhappy with how things are. A partner is struggling. The relationship is suffering. Anger has become a problem. Something at home isn't working. Quite often, the motivation isn't simply I want to feel better. It's I want to be better for the people who matter to me.
Of course, that's not every man and it isn't every reason for coming. Sometimes life has simply become difficult. Work, fatherhood, relationships, anxiety, loss, confidence, purpose — or the nagging sense that something isn't quite right.
Whatever brings you here, we can start with that.
Therapy For Men
Men don't always come to therapy because they're unhappy with themselves.
Therapy might not be what you expect…
I've spoken to a lot of men who weren't particularly sure about therapy before they came. Some imagined they'd be expected to talk endlessly about how they feel. Others had tried therapy before and come away feeling that the person sitting opposite them somehow knew better.
I understand the reluctance. There are plenty of ways for a man to feel small in life, and therapy shouldn't become another one of them.
I'm interested in what you feel, of course, but I don't need you to talk about it before you're ready. Nor am I going to assume that everything about the way you've learned to deal with life needs correcting.
We'll get curious about what is happening. I'll ask questions, offer thoughts and sometimes challenge you. Some conversations will take us somewhere uncomfortable. That is a natural response to looking at something that matters.
What happens when we meet?
You don't need to arrive knowing what the problem is.
Some men come with something very specific they want to work on. For others it's much less clear. A relationship isn't right. They're angrier than they used to be. Work has taken over. They've lost confidence. Or life looks reasonably good from the outside, but doesn't feel quite right from within it.
We start with whatever you've got.
I'm an active therapist. I won't sit silently while you try to fill fifty minutes. I'll listen, ask questions, offer another way of looking at something and tell you when I notice a contradiction or a pattern worth paying attention to.
That doesn't mean I'm here to tell you what to do. My job is to help us look properly at what's happening, not to decide for you what your life ought to look like.
You don't need to make a commitment before we've met. I offer a free initial session so that we can have a proper conversation and see whether working together makes sense.
Men’s Group
COMING SOON
A small, in-person group for men in the Folkestone/Canterbury areas.
For some people, talking in a group feels easier than one-to-one therapy. Hearing other men speak honestly can take the pressure off, and it can make your own experience feel clearer without needing to force it.
Over time, it becomes a steady space where things can be spoken about a bit more openly, and you realise you’re not dealing with everything on your own.
The group will always be confidential and what is shared is expected to stay within the room. It is facilitated by me as a qualified therapist and will run weekly in person in the Folkestone / Canterbury area (location TBC).
If you’d like to know more or have a question, you’re welcome to get in touch: hello@bodhitreetherapy.co.uk
